For a second, she wondered if he disconnected the call, wanting nothing but silence from her. After all this time, she struggled to deal with the fact he wasn’t an affectionate boyfriend. He wasn’t going to buy her flowers or take her out to nice dinners where the two could talk for hours while ignoring the presence of others. He wasn’t someone she would’ve thought herself falling for, but she had; and Izzie struggled with how she fit into his life. Like no, as she wondered if she should hang up and toss the rest of the night with cigarettes and a bottle of Death. At least she could wipe her memory clean with a few shots of Death.
When he finally spoke, just one word, it filled her with dread. Would he keep it short and curt before hanging up? She held the mobile closer to her, her knuckles turning weight against the strain, before releasing them to give her mobile a fighting chance of survival. Survival, wasn’t this what she was doing? Surviving his absence with other activities like giving up smoking or traveling some more? Anything to occupy her mind and ignore the feeling that the more and more time they went without seeing each other, holding each other, even being intimately close with one another was just another day of feeling like he was a ghost who entered into her life only to leave behind a lasting mark.
It took her a few seocnds to realize he asked her something and a few seconds more to realize he wanted to come over and see her. She glanced around at the mess of the room and sighed over the phone, a sigh for him to realize she wanted to see him. Through the frustration, the worry, the feeling of loneliness, Izzie wanted to see Charon. Her skin tingled to feel his hands on her, to see that small smile of his appear when she cracked a joke, or even hear his voice against her ears telling her in Greek in how much he missed her.
“Yes, please, come over. Now.”
He squinted up at the ceiling in a grimace when he heard her sigh and when he heard the urgency in her tone. Although he could not empathize with many people, Charon registered the need he picked up on and felt the unbearable desire to go soothe her, and comfort her, a feeling the unsentimental ferryman rarely experience. It ran through his body, trembling the cigarette between his fingers and the phone against his ear, and it caused him to stand up.
“I am on my way.”
Although the words lacked any of the feelings he was actually undergoing, his monotone voice was softer, gentler than his usual cold delivery. With that, he hung up, unable to hear another peep from her, selfishly not wanting to hear how affected she was any longer.
He stood and dressed methodically out of nature but rather rushed, out the door as fast as he would allow himself.
Charon, being a deity, held the ability to appear and vanish at will, but he did not put it to use. He needed time to collect his thoughts and conjure up a proper explanation for he felt any random phrases he’d try expressing to her now would not make sense even to himself.
Eventually, he found himself at her apartment door, one of the only addresses he bothered to memorize.
While he had a copy of her key, Charon almost felt intruding to just walk in as he normally would. He would not know what to do, either, if he walked in and found her curled up on the bed the way he imagined she was.
He decided it best to knock, so he did, twice.